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Archive for June, 2011

JAWS – A journey about pulled teeth and beyond

I am avoiding twiddling with the small piece of stitched string hanging at the back of my mouth.. Having teeth pulled is never a nice experience and my latest venture proved to be a horror show in the big white chair under the beaming white light, the light is so damn bright they give you Elvis style sunglasses to wear.. I wonder if this adds to the joy of the dentist’s entertainment as each poor sweet toothed soul lays back in the torture chair… So to cut to the chase whilst heaving out a wisdom tooth the size of a small child’s fist the dentist fractured a small piece of my jaw causing it to split the upper part of jaw skin.. Perfect just before venturing out to play a run of 4 shows in 6 days..

So Day 1 included a 24-hour delay due to the mongy skills of un communicative people that run the hire van company and not bothering to tell us we had been downgraded to a van far to small for not only the equipment but also the 5 people that would be travelling in it. Pick up the goddamn phone and tell someone when you change the arranged plans people!!!

So beyond schedule we travelled back to the land of strong beer and fine chocolate..(Belgium). Arriving under dark clouds and the night sky we avoided the heavy rain showers that seem to be plaguing central Europe at the moment.. Sun, wind, rain, thunder, clouds, sun, wind. Gusts, heavy rain, clouds, sun etc etc …We found solace under a marquee that sold cheeseburgers we ate, watched the rain stop and left for the hotel.

In the sack with lights out I watched David Cronenbergs surreal head fuck film version of the William .S. Burroughs novel “Naked Lunch” the film frying my eyes and brain like a dotted mushroom.. Of to Interzone with the tapping of the beetle brain asshole speaking words of Clark Nova.. I fell asleep.

2 days later I’m sat on the train with a stomach like an old empty biscuit tin.. Only crumbs remain in the pit and I need to fill this tin up.. My confusion and alien communication breakdown finds me wondering the space station in a lost land of confusion then find myself sat in the wrong seat. I move and find another empty one.. The sting of the stitches holding my gum together at the back of my jaw feels strange and I am avoiding touching it in any way but am growing tired of eating on one side of my mouth.. Also the healing of the gum and the stitches combines leave an odd copper like taste sensation in my mouth every morning when I wake up.. Money taste grim, so does my gob.

So now super speeding along the super train highway on my way to rehearse then perform my first live show with the man from Kendall who is lost somewhere in France that is Robin Foster, I can reflect on the last couple of days..

We got lucky with the weather and it didn’t rain for our Saturday night Festival performance in Liege. Its been a long time since we played a festival but so we weren’t the quickest at getting things ready to roll and hit a few snags along the way but we played the show to an all of a sudden decent seven or so hundred people sized crowd.. the microphone kept giving me little electric shocks on my lips though which was a bit fuzzy.. I worried slightly cause what with the luck I’ve had with my mouth over this last week the last thing I needed was it to be blown up !! Teeth for shrapnel. Teeth flying everywhere messing up beer and burger time, what a bummer that would have been. Apart from that we enjoyed the show afterwards we all sipped beers and ate chicken legs. Hats of to the caterers at this one the food was grand.

1 day later we awoke had vending machine caffeine granules with hot water and false milk, drove to what seemed to be the middle of nowhere where I thought there would be around 50 people living at the most.. I was wrong, the festival was like a village affair but was rammed with jolly folk from Belgium, France and Germany, a large selection of bands from around the globe where here to help the Belgians celebrate their national music week.. We were happy to be part of it and put in a wicked gig that we all thoroughly enjoyed. Cheers as always to the folk that travelled from places to see us and for the kind gifts you gave us.

3.2.1 and your back in the room ( well Train ) …..I found a crumbled cake in my bag, its not enough and the bar on the train is closed.

The Empty Biscuit Barrel continues……..

Found my way to the destination I needed to reach and entered a very busy rehearsal room with Robin foster and hid band and an Orchestra made up of kids and adults plus lots of people who I’m not sure what they were doing or why they were there. I sweated a lot and slightly got the fear as we went through the songs I would sing live the next day.

The show was good and a decent crowd were there to see us play our first show to promote Robin’s second album.. For it being summer time it’s not that warm and through the chill, rain and sunshine I’d managed to pick up a head of snot and bung that has teased and annoyed my head, throat and nose..

I managed to end up Dj’ing that night although the DJ’s in charge didn’t seem too welcoming to me and a mad man dressed up as a bear wearing ski goggles.. They reluctantly gave it up and we mixed some old, new, rock, fuzz, electro and bop to a few crazy drunk folk.. I’m chuffed I played Freeman Hardy Willis by Aphex twin and Squarepusher though, even if it did bomb !!

That’s all I can remember right now so I’m gonna end this and blow my nose.




There has to be a Light at the End of the Tunnel