What Seemed Impossible – The Spine Race 2023

My feet still hurt. The blisters are fading but the tendinitis in my right shin is still bothering me and painful. My left toe is constantly tingling as if the nerves are trying to re-ignite. The night sweats has ceased but my appetite is huge! I’ve recently returned from a weekend away in London with my family of which at times I needed to just sit down somewhere/anywhere due to the pain still in my feet. The chaos and manic-ness of the capital in all its expensive busy touristic glory was the polar opposite of where I was some days before. Limp backwards in a blurred but very recent memory and I was making my way up across the frozen landscapes of Britain’s oldest national trail The Pennine Way. The Spine Race is a two hundred and sixty eight mile foot race up the backbone or spine of England. I attempted this race in 2022 and retired after a hundred and forty two miles of soul sapping energy, frustration and pain, so immediately re entered for the 2023 edition. I’ve wanted to complete The Spine Race, in the winter for some time now, this brutal race/expedition where anything can happen. The weather always unkind, bleak, wet, windy and freezing adds to the drama of the journey you sign up for.

So I travelled back to Derbyshire, my kind parents offering to drive me, they are retired and running has always been in the family so they are always ultra keen to help when they can when it comes to races. I stayed in the same hotel as last year in Buxton, Premier inns do a simple yet effective job. I relaxed as much as I could before the Saturday kit check which when it came around took longer than expected. I waited outside in the cold for almost an hour before I made it through the doors into the warm. Other runners made conversation between themselves and people chatted to other runners they knew. I stayed quiet, waiting patiently. Kit check always makes me nervous, even though I have everything on the list but there’s always something and there was…something. I didn’t have the appropriate cup, I missed that it said it had to have a handle! Luckily they were selling them so spent twelve quid on a decent one and that was it, everything else was good, I was good, I was ready. All that was left was to eat as much as I could and sleep as much as I can before 8am the next morning.

Sunday.

I woke early, five am I think. I shower and make coffee and eat. Ham sandwiches, cinnamon whirl pastry, banana, protein bar. I also sip lucazade. I finish packing my bag for the race and also my drop bag. The drop bag can’t weigh more than twenty kilograms, It’s tricky getting it all right. All the food needed and spare clothes and extras and all the things needed for the aid stations. I weigh the drop bag and its nineteen kilograms. My rucksack for the race is all packed and ready, I don’t bother to weigh it but I reckon with the water its around ten kilograms. I also have a large pouch I wear around my waste which has my food in it, plus my wallet, painkillers, some other medical supplies, cables for charging, my phone and my head torch so adding all that I’m probably carrying twelve kilograms in all maybe? It all felt snug and comfortable and would become my daily attire for the next week.

The start in Edale was wet, rain pouring down as I dashed into the Community hall to get my tracker fitted. All sorted. I waited in the van patiently for the start as the rain splats on the windscreen. A quick nature call and then straight into the muddy field with the glowing Montane arches illuminating the start. We headed out at eight am on the dot. The rain and wind quickly turned to sleet and then snow and climbing up Jacobs Ladder the snow was building up and was more than it was last year in similar conditions. I got into a good stride, was feeling focused and got my head down and moved forward at a comfortable pace. I briefly chatted to some other racers during the day and also met a guy called Russ who ran the summer version back in 2019 when I did too. We’d met along the route as Russ finished just behind me that year. We also had bumped into each other in a cable car in Chamonix the same summer when the UTMB was on. He remembered I was a musician and it was good to see him again. The weather started to lift in the afternoon and I heard that a cold front was coming in and that the weather for the week was looking clear but very cold with some potential snow on lower ground but definitely on higher ground. As the day wore on and darkness fell the first real thing I remember was getting to the café near the M62. I gave the guy in there a tenner for a bacon roll, a coffee, a coke, 3 chocolate bars and a packet of crisps, I didn’t sit down but it felt so good to take a small break before pushing on down/up into Hebden. Hebden Bridge is the first major check point and seems to take an eternity to get to, you have to climb up and up and along a road before there’s a really steep decent down into the checkpoint and it’s about a mile off the Pennine way national trail. It was a nice relief to get there. Last year I tried to sleep at this checkpoint and it didn’t work so this time I got in, changed my socks which were soaking wet, charged my phone and watch, ate some food, had a coffee and decided to get straight back out and push on so I could get some decent time under my belt. I knew the sleep demons would surface in all there strange other worldly glory but I’ve dealt with them before so knew what to expect.

Monday.

I don’t remember much about the night but met a fellow participant whilst it was dark because I remember him asking me if his red light was flashing on his backpack, I’m pretty sure I asked him to check mine also. I think there was another runner there too but he pushed on ahead and I carried on with the other runner at a very similar pace. We chatted about stuff I don’t remember and after a while I asked his name, his name was James. Little did I know that James and I would spend a hell of a lot of time together along this year’s Spine Race. The morning light came and a magic pop up tent from a local running club brought wonderful salvation in the form of another bacon roll, a hot chocolate and a thirty-minute power nap. Upon waking up and stepping out of the tent everything was white. It had snowed quite heavily during that much needed rest bite so it was a bit of a shock to emerge from the tent to a winter wonderland. It was at this time that James asked me why there was a film crew that seemed to be focusing more on me than any of the other runners, Oh because of my job (I’m a musician) I think I explained and they’re documenting some things about my life and running etc.

The leg from Hebden Bridge to Hawes is really long, sixty-two miles and really seems to take an eternity to break the back of. We carried on through the day taking in Gargrave and its amazing Co Op for vending machine Costa coffee, sandwiches and other hot treats. We sat on a doorstep to catch the fading sun enjoying a little caffeine pleasure trip before moving on hoping to get to Malham Tarn by dusk. We did, just about and James had recced this part recently so we got up and across quite easily and avoided most of the large stones that were snow and ice covered. Last year I got lost in the fog at this section and it caused a lot of stress, this time I was calm and enjoying the company as we made good progress to the middle check point. We got to this checkpoint of which thirty minutes is allowed to refuel. I asked for some boiling water for a hydration meal I had with me but I don’t think the water was hot enough as the pasta wouldn’t cook, I kept waiting to eat it but every time I tried it was a crunchy nightmare. This checkpoint kind of sucked and was really small and cramped. I drank the liquid the concrete pasta was sitting in and was ready to just get on with the next section. We carried on down the hill before turning right and pressing on for a late night ascent of Pen-Y-Ghent. Getting up Pen-Y- Ghent in the dark isn’t something i’d overly want to do again, it was quite windy and a bit sketchy in places so wasn’t enjoyable in such a tired state of mind but we made it at a good pace and then headed down into Horton in Ribblesdale where a pot holing club had set up an aid station in a warm house. I was really sleep deprived by this time and not really with it upon arrival. I think a medic asked me some questions, which I answered in a sleepy slurred tone. I said I needed a power nap and they led me to a sofa of which I immediately fell asleep for a half hour before having to slowly awaken, eat some food and take the long slog up and along the Cam High Road. I’ve had my issues with The Cam High Road over the recent years of tackling the Pennine Way and this year with it covered in snow and it was a slow long episode through the cold dark. Before we started to descend we got a little bit lost and weren’t sure where to go but managed to find the correct way down which was arduous and quite technical as everything was now frozen solid. Mud that was squelchy was now pointed, solid and tricky to navigate down on really tired legs and aching feet. Before the descent we were joined by a Japanese runner who didn’t speak English. I remember his Garmin had told him to go the wrong way when he showed us the screen so he made his way down with us into Hawes and the second major checkpoint. It was proper relief to get here after battling through what felt like days of long trailostly in the dark. I think in all this leg took us over 28 hours. It’s a huge part of the race to get through and I don’t remember what happened upon arrival to the Hawes aid station in terms of food and showering, but I must have done both? James asked me if I’d like to carry on together tomorrow of which I replied yes and then I crashed out for around 3 hours before waking up to the same Japanese guy we met on the Cam Road’s alarm going off at full volume! His alarm siren was banging out like an emergency warning and woke everyone up in the room. I dozed for a few more minutes before James woke me and I got up and started to get ready for the next section of the race.

Tuesday.

The shortest day in terms of miles standing at thirty-three, which compared to the sixty-two on the previous section seemed like an easier day ahead. I decided to change my shoes as with all the freezing conditions I wanted something a bit sturdier than the Salomon Alpine shoes I had worn for the first few days. I switched to Salomon Speedcross Six as wanted a bit more stability and they would hopefully keep my feet dryer. My feet were aching and it took a little while for them to get back into the flow and get moving as we left in the early morning light with Great Shunner Fell the first part of the section on the list. James and I chatted as we moved along in the morning sunshine, I think we spoke about chaffing and sore arses as is common on a multi day race, pleasant chat about which remedy is best to ease the pain, I won’t go into details. Last year I crossed Great Shunner Fell in the mist and darkness, this year it was covered in snow and in glorious sunshine. It was stunningly beautiful making the long ascent up to the summit. I felt good and happy and we greeted other walkers we saw with nice pleasantries with most people commenting on how beautiful it was today and wishing us the best. I have to say that this is a huge part of why I do these multi day races. To be able to power hike up this beautiful mountain in the snow, miles away from home, tired but alive! When you get that sense of adventure burning like a warm fire inside your soul. It was the best part of the race so far and we stopped at the summit for a sip of coke and some food. The snowdrifts were beautiful and soft as we made our way down the other side. A beautiful section done as we headed on towards the infamous Tan Hill Inn and another much needed short rest.

Before Tan hill there’s a section of tricky rocky terrain that you get to by climbing up quite a short steep grassy hill. As we reached the top we were joined by two incredible fighter jets that swooped past us at such a speed it scared the shit out of me for a couple seconds ( back to ass soreness chat ). I heard the sound on the opposite hills before it quickly and sonically came whooshing around the valley. One of the jets was upside down as it roared past us. It was a truly awesome and such a powerful spectacle for us to see. WOW!

After passing through the tricky and rocky section we made our way up to Tan Hill, the fire was roaring and also getting there at a reasonable time meant the bar and restaurant was still open. Result in the form of Gammon and Eggs and chunky chips. I had this same meal in 2019 when I ran the summer version so thought it a good omen to repeat the dish. Last year at this point it was the middle of the night, I wasn’t feeling good, the restaurant was closed and my race was coming to an end after an arduous and mentally destructive horror show that was Sleighthome Moor, which follows on from Tan Hill. This time having dinner with James and feeling relaxed ( to a degree of course ), I felt confident about the next section even though a sinkhole had opened up and barriers had been put round it to avoid falling shoulder height into a murky bog of soul sapping doom. We finished dinner and attempted to have a quick power nap, which didn’t work for me sadly. We also were joined by another runner called Jonathan upon setting out as Sleighhome moor can be a tricky place to navigate so the more the merrier. Last year Sleighthome Moor was purgatory, this year it was simple, clear and we got across easily. I think because of the freezing conditions most of the moor was crunchy under foot, which made it so much easier and quicker to get across. No soul sapping trudge, just crunch, crunch, crunch. It’s strange how this race throws different sections at you that one year are complete hell and almost impossible to get through both physically and mentally and then the year after they are nothing to worry about and completed more easily. We came to the farm I quit at last year, I spoke about it and was so happy to be in a much better place and in no way shape or form ready to quit! A mountain rescue volunteer spoke to us just before crossing the road where I quit last year. ‘About six miles he said with a couple of up and downs along the way and you’ll be into Middleton’ That sounds ok I thought. Well I’m not sure what a couple means up north but my understanding is that its two right? It was not a couple up and downs! I think I stopped counting at about the eighth climb. This section, the shortest of them all was starting to take an eternity. It just went on and on across Deep Dale, Cotherstone Moor, Hunderwaite Moor, way too many moors man!! I can’t take any Moor!! I was falling asleep as I walked, I longed for it to end again. I could see the town in the distance and it stayed there, in the distance for way too long! As we finally, finally made it down and onto the road that leads into Middleton In Teasdale high street a small gathering of people applauded us in the middle of the night, which really helped. I had made it past last years sorrow and abandonment. I was again so very tired but definitely in it for the long run.

Wednesday.

I think we agreed on two hours sleep again before a big day of which includes the highest point of the race in the mighty Cross Fell. I had a chicken curry and porridge for breakfast ( a first for me ) it was so good, I also had toast, a banana and coffee. I felt very emotional and was welling up as I ate. I think knowing i’d passed where I was at last year was bringing out the emotion. It felt good to let the tears fall for a moment before gaining composure and thinking about how far we had to go. We were over half way but with many more tough days ahead.

We set out into the cold crisp sunshine and stopped at a chemist for some paracetemol and then a shop for some bottles of coke and some jelly babies. I haven’t eaten sweets for ages but I was offered some jelly babies by James and then some jelly beans from Jonathan the previous night and good lord was it a taste sensation, that quick sugar rush was so good so I went all out and got jelly babies and skittles and mixed them into one bag for a quick fix here and there along the way. Followed by a drone above we stomped on along a very nice path, which takes you along parts of the river tees and takes in Low Force and High Force waterfalls. In the cold crisp morning light again it was a beautiful section along the River Tees and we were in good spirits as we made progress. The river section gets a bit technical with some quite sketchy rocks to pass right alongside the river. It’s called Falcon Clints I think. It was quite icy and we put our sticks away and used hands for stability and slowly got across the section. Half way we met some rangers with one chap carrying a huge wooden post in one hand casually making his was across the rocks with his dog, calm, as you like. We rounded the bend to face Couldron Snout. It’s quite a beautiful and powerful place and with it snow and ice covered, quite scary. James made it up before me and I got a bit nervous getting up as I started to stray to the left which wasn’t a great idea as it was much more icy. An ice covered shelf that went straight over the edge was way to close so I went back and headed straight up using the heather to pull my self up and made it up to the top. I was relieved it was over.

There were two Spine officials checking the routes on Cauldron Snout and asked us if we thought it was safe. We said that we certainly wouldn’t want to do it tired and in the dark, they spoke about shutting the section off and putting a detour in place as we pressed on towards High Cup Nick, which then takes you down into Dufton. But before that as we rounded the top of Cauldron Snout the documentary crew were there but also I was suddenly greeted by a chap called Paul. I met Paul on last years failed attempt and covered a good bit of the course together. Paul also failed to finish but returned for the summer spine and completed it. Paul was so complimentary and was out there speaking to all the runners and offering words of encouragement. I love this about trail running, that people come out of their way to offer words of strength and good will. Proper sound in my opinion, and so kind. Thanks Paul. Pressing forwards and reasonable pace we got on with getting down the long descent from High Cup Nick into Dufton.

I’d recently been to Dufton back in October with some friends to recce Cross Fell so I was feeling ok about it. I had recce’d it in the daylight though. It was five thirty pm when we arrived in Dufton. The café in the small village was open so we headed straight for it and ordered two full English breakfasts/dinners. As far as full English’s go this was the real deal! It was superb and a real generous portion too, It was perfect grub for what would be a long night getting up and over Cross Fell. After  a quick biscuit or two and a ten minute power nap at the official Spine midway checkpoint ( only thirty minutes allowed ) we headed out accompanied by another runner called Mark. We all chatted about our careers as we started the ascent. It wasn’t so cold down in Dufton and I was a bit warm in the raly stages of heading up. That soon changed though and before I knew it we were right into the snow and some of the visibility was changing with a bit of fog. I realised I needed a balaclava on so when we got to the road section before the climb up to the weather station I quickly changed into one and also changed my gloves. It was so quick before I could really feel the cold and it took a while for my hands to re warm up afterwards. The route was good and navigation was spot on. I was leading at a good pace, the wind wasn’t too bad either, we were slowly caught up by another two and the five of us carried on towards the summit. I was buzzing, it felt amazing moving through the snowy trails by head torch pressing on to one of the highest points in England, Passing Green Fell, Knock Fell, Great Dun Fell and Little Dun Fell. From Little Dun fell it took a while to reach the summit and visibility wasn’t great but then all of sudden it appeared, the strange four way structure so you can shelter from the Helm Wind ( Cross Fell has its own wind! ) in any direction and the summit of Cross Fell. A monumental part of The Spine Race completed! We stopped for a few minutes and I attempted to do a quick live Instagram feed, as there was a signal. I said some quick hellos and announced we had got to the summit before moving on and heading down towards the famous Greggs Hut.

A refuge hut on a mountain in the middle of winter over one hundred and fifty miles into a race is heaven. I’d heard so much about it over the years of following and being part of the Spine Race but never been in it. In the summer of 2019 it was open but I bypassed it and carried on down. It was kind of magical, there’s a guy who mans it called John Bamber who is a bit of a legend. He makes everyone coffee, tea and noodles with chilli sauce if you want, there is a fire inside, its warm and somewhere you could hibernate for hours, days and even weeks. You can dry your clothes if needed and sleep. Upon arrival we were greeted by a very nice lady who’s name evades me. We entered and took our frost-covered bags off and were lead into a smaller room of which was very busy. I’d say it was full. I took a chair near the door and could feel myself warming up nicely. I put my gloves on the warm stone fireplace. I had noodles and a coffee. It was lovely. I took a few pictures. I didn’t want to sleep, and as much as I wanted to stay in the warm there was only really one thing to do and that was to get up, get ready again and get out.

It’s quite a long way down to Garrigill which is the next place with people and houses. We arrived in the early hours to be welcomed by a local resident who opens her house to Spine runners and offers them food and drink and somewhere to charge batteries etc. That’s such a kind and generous thing to do. The lady who owns the house was sleeping so the neighbour was on duty and kindly offered us soup, hot chocolate, toast etc. A hot chocolate would be lovely I said, ‘with squirty cream and marshmallows’ she said, ‘oh yes please’ I answered. I also had a banana and some peanut butter on toast. Today had definitely been a good day for eating! As we said our goodbyes twenty minutes later it only took a minute or so for my stomach to remind me of what i’d eaten today and it started to make some quite strange sounds. I managed to hold onto Alston, the next major checkpoint. This section had been good today with a real sense of adventure about it all.  Alot of people say it’s the best day in terms of terrain and obstacles and landscape. The very end of the day dragged like the other days before this. The last six, four, two and last mile would all feel like ten. My legs, feet and tired state of mind would become pure punishment and I’d slow down to a snails pace. Upon reaching Alston and the very comfortable checkpoint I was again very happy but also extremely tired and just wanted to sleep rather than eat anything else. I also really, really needed the toilet!

Thursday

I had Lasagne for breakfast, coffee and bananas. Upon leaving every checkpoint during the spine race runners have to complete a mandatory kit check, it can either be a full kit check or partial. I was asked to show my back up base layers and I couldn’t find them, i’d had them all in a black medium dry bag and realised the whole bag was missing, I was confused to where it could be, it wasn’t in my drop bag either of which they kindly let me check because you have to submit your drop bag before they then check your backpack to ensure you have everything needed on the mandatory kit list. Then a woman appeared and said ‘Is this it?’ and there it was! ‘I found it last night she said’ I was so relieved but had absolutely no idea how it fallen out. I left my bags in the corner at the table of which id been assigned to upon arrival to the checkpoint so I’m guessing a volunteer dropped it when moving my bags. Anyway, spare base layers checked and correctly put back into backpack and I was ready to move out again with already achy feet. James and I headed straight to the petrol station just up the road for a sausage bap, coke and my sugar crack fix in bags of jelly babies and skittles. Off all the days I think this leg of the race was the slowest and frustrating. This leg is around forty miles and takes in the historic Hadrians Wall, apart from that I remember it being pretty non eventful. We walked on through Slaggyford and stopped near a church for a babybell cheese and also to adjust my bag, which would annoyingly and randomly slip from one shoulder so I tried to re pack and get the balance right and re tighten it. From there we moved onto Hartleyburn Common and Blenkinsopp Common which were slow going, very remote and quite bleak. The documentary crew were ghosting us for a while across this empty section. A sealed box of snacks for Spine runners awaited us as we crossed a road. I grabbed a couple chocolate bars and a packet of crisps. So much of the Pennine way is marsh land, commons and bogs, its beautiful in its own lonely bleak way. I remember speaking with James at Tan hill discussing why we do this and remember saying that you have to have a huge degree of patience in races like this. The slim paths go on and on for what seems like forever and easy to stray of course and you’ll find yourself cutting across thigh deep heather, snow and bog to try and get back to the path, sometimes it’s just easier to turn around and go back to where you went wrong rather than try and cut across. So we pressed on slowly under cloudy skies with some light sleet falling. We arrived near Greenhead and the start of a section of Hadrians Wall just as the light was fading. We decided to stop and cook up some food. Another part of the race kit is a stove. There’s something quite self-satisfying about lighting up your own stove and cooking a meal up whilst out there. James decided to cook his up in the toilets at the car park where we stopped but I decided to sit out on the picnic benches with another runner and two mountain rescue volunteers. I had a one thousand calorie Bolognaise dried meal, which I’d had before and they are actually really quite tasty. Mountain expedition foods they are called and I highly recommend them. James didnt eat his mela in the bogs, he joined us at the table too.

So after getting some grub in us we moved onto to the nine-mile section of Hadrian’s Wall, which would prove to be a battle of its own. Hadrian’s Wall actually goes on for eighty four miles, that’s some wall!! Getting along the wall in the dark and snow was slow going and due to sleep deprivation sketchy in parts. In the day if it’s clear the views are stunning, in the dark its just glimpses of huge stone climbs through head torch light and nothing more. There is no end in sight its just patience and moving forwards waiting for the next descent and ascent and taking your time. The worst thing you can do is rush so we just moved calmly and efficiently along the wall. When you’re this far into a race your body is kind of self recovering as you move along. I had some niggles for sure and my feet hurt like hell when I stopped to think about it but your brain just acknowledges what’s happening and you keep moving. I did at times have to take a couple of Paracetemol, which would kind of help for a couple hours, that and my jelly baby/skittle fix and I was all ok. We got across the wall in a few hours and were kindly joined by two mountain rescue volunteers for a little section. They were super nice and encouraging and one of them had this super torch which he put on to show us the last climb we had to do. This thing was well decent and in a geeky way we both said we’d have to get one of them for future adventures. Now following on from finihsing Hadrian’s Wall everything is a bit of a sleep deprived, hallucinational, pain staking, slog moving, blurred memory. All I know is there was a detour in place which was a kind of service road going around a big section of the forest that I think was still un passable due to last years Storm Arwin making that route unsafe due to fallen trees. Anyway the detour was awful. It never ended. I think James was struggling a bit too. It was super cold and I started to see things that really weren’t there. I’ve hallucinated before so I’m used to it but there were a couple of things that made me feel a bit uneasy. As we walked I noticed in the distance what looked like a wheel chair as we moved closer there was someone or something sat in the wheelchair, it was the devil. He was grotesque, crouching and deformed with a repulsive face. I kept thinking it will change and the whole time I looked at it until I was completely level with it didn’t change. His eyes just slightly moved to keep looking at me. I think it was a twisted tree in real life but this was quite a big hallucination and it wasn’t a colourful one. I don’t think I mentioned it to James. Just after this one a massive dogs face was seen peeking out of the forest. His snout was huge, like 12 feet long, he was chilled and I much preferred him to Satan. Things went a bit dark again in the shape of a small girl that wouldn’t look at me; she just stood there on the corner wearing a dress in the cold. Fuck sake have I watched way too many horror films when I was a kid??? I tried to think of nice things, my family, friends and the sunshine, but the dark track and my withering brain was having none of it. The never-ending path of things that weren’t there was taking its toll. James and I stopped for a breather. I crouched down to stretch my legs, James crouched down and then went into a praying position on his knees, his head gently placed onto the snowy track and he fell asleep. He was only gone for a minute I think but I woke him up and said we needed to keep going. It would have been so easy to just lay down and sleep, I tried to bivvy before on last years attempt and it didn’t work for me, I would just get really cold and struggle to get moving again so I’d rather press on with god knows what for company in my sleep deprived state. James asked me about music and we chatted about what we liked and also about marriage and our wives and how we met etc. This chat woke me up a bit and I mentioned the song we had for our first dance at our wedding. James hadn’t heard of it so I recited the lyrics to him. It was Do You Realise by The Flaming Lips. It’s the most beautiful and simple song in the world to me here are the lyrics :

One, two, three, four

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize
We’re floating in space?
Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize?
Ah-ah-ah

Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize
That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize?

Following on from serenading James I check my phone for a signal and I had one so I played him the song via youtube. It was a super nice moment but we didn’t dance and have no plans to marry. The road ended, somehow thank god. This day had been brutal already and really remote and I’d say was the most self-sufficient day of the entire race. Kind of tough in it being the second to last leg but that’s part of this race and its why you need everything they say on the kit list. It’s all part of the adventure and looking back it’s a good part for experience learning and never ever getting to complacent in a race like this. We moved on and slowly came to a farm, which was an unofficial aid station. There were two other runners in the barn when we arrived. The owner kindly made us hot drinks and soup before going to bed herself. There was a calor gas stove and a bed with blankets. A runner was in some discomfort on the bed and said his legs were so painful he needed some hours rest. The other runner had bad tendintius. I was sat near the barn door so wasn’t overly warm. James had a sleep along with the other two runners. I dozed in the chair and woke to find my hot drink was now cold. I made myself another drink and woke James to say I was ready to move on. The other runner who was awake was called Jake and he joined us down to Bellingham, which was the next major checkpoint. I’m not sure what happened to the other runner. James was just ahead as we entered the checkpoint with Jake a little way behind me. A volunteer walked in with James, I walked in alone and was given a seat near everyone’s shoes. I didn’t overly care and just wanted to sleep. Bellingham is reasonably basic as far as checkpoints go and doesn’t have a wow factor like Alston. A volunteer got me some water and said I should take a shower. I said ‘no its ok’ as it was so cold there I just didn’t want to get in a comfortable ( if that was at all possible ) state of mind. I just wanted sleep. I pulled my sleeping bag out of my bag, blew up my mattress (again all these things are mandatory ) , grabbed my power pack and plugged in my phone and watch and head torch. Doing these things when you are completely shattered takes effort and attention, as simple as they are its easy to forget and just go to sleep but then you’d be waiting around in the morning for things to charge so I was efficient in making sure things charged whilst I slept. I took off some layers but kept on my base layers entered the hall where there were tents, found an empty one thankfully so quickly told James where it was so we could share. I should add it was freezing in the hall. There was a pointless plug in radiator near the door wasting energy. I could see my breath as I passed it, got in my bag, closed my eyes and crashed out. Fuck you Satan, Forty-two miles to go.

Friday

I think I got around 4 hours sleep but definitely felt good upon awakening and it was certainly needed. I came back into the main hall and a volunteer asked me what I’d like to eat and drink, I said could I have some toast but they didn’t have any. Just water, a coffee and a banana first then please. I went to the toilet to brush my teeth and sort some bits out ( flash back to chafe chat, I still won’t go into details ) and caught glimpse of myself in the mirror. Dear Lord! Throughout the race and the severe lack of sleep I’d developed a whole new couple of rings or set of bags under my eyes, I’ve always had dark eyes to which so many people say to me “ you look tired Dave” it’s just how I look, I’m not tired . I’m actually really awake, it’s a bit of a Steve Buschemi thing I guess, You know in Fargo when they describe him and they all say, “yahh you know he was kind of funny looking”. Anyway at this point yeah I looked proper ruined, beyond tired, I had three sets of bags under my eyes for Christ sake so yeah I was REALLY TIRED! Sorry I’m loosing the thread here. Where was I? Oh yeah sorting my stuff and self out ready for the last forty-two miles. The French crew were at the checkpoint. I should add full permission was granted from Spine HQ, for them to document me, other runners and the story of the race and they were super pro at everything they were doing.. A volunteer asked me about it and I said I was a musician. His name was Robin and he was assigned to do my kit check, it was a more thorough check with ten items, including stove, layers, fully charged GPS and phone etc as the last section is quite remote in places and up on the Cheviots it would also be very cold. As I packed everything to move out whilst eating bacon and tomato pasta, which I thought would suck and was actually really nice Robin appeared with his mobile phone playing an Archive song. It was a live video ‘where was this?’ he enthusiastically asked, ‘ Oh some TV show I think’ as I squinted to look at his phone screen. Other runners noticed and the attention was a little off putting. I love my job but sometimes get a bit shy when things like this happen, I suppose it’s a rare thing for some people so its brings a touch of glamour I guess and is so easily available via the internet but Robin was super nice and I hope he is now a fan! I also had a nice chat with Jonathan who we had covered some of the race with, he had mentioned his daughter was learning the bass guitar and was getting into bands, I recommended some Joy division and New order as the bass parts are great to learn on some of those songs. Jonathan was a super nice guy and was definitely going to finish the race. I wished him the best before James and I moved out and on. It was around eleven thirty I think. I knew the light would fade in what would feel like minutes and knew we were in for a tough final push, but that’s what it was, the final push! After a quick stop for sausage rolls, coke and you guessed it – JELLY BABIES AND SKITTLES! ( my poor teeth ) we carried on across Troughend Common then on through Redesdale Forest. Some of the views were beautiful and the climb up to the start of the forest was stunning. You could see the Cheviots in the orange sun crested distance. I was in a  beautiful place and again thought, this is the reason I do this.

As we walked along you could still see clearly the damage that Storm Arwin had done, trees all in a line knocked over, roots up and left crippled and broken. Nature at it’s most furious for us to see. The daylight faded quickly and darkness set in again as we walked through the forest. It took a bit of time and was slippery in places due to the impacted snow becoming flat and slippy. As we neared Byrness of which there is a thirty-minute stop off it was early evening, around six fifteen. A nice volunteer who lead us to a house greeted us. ‘mince and tatties?’ he asked, oh yes please we said and I also did something I never ever do, I had a cup of tea! I’d been suffering with acid reflux for most of the race due to the fats in some of the food, chocolate, sweets etc and antacid tablets were a huge part of my diet on this race, coffee as much as I love it wasn’t helping so tea it was! The mince and Tatties was superb and he offered me seconds of which I greedily accepted. James had a five minute power nap before they announced we had five minutes before we had to leave so up we got, packs back on and out for the climb up onto the section that leads onto the Cheviot Hills. It’s a steep ascent up and I was a sweating a little bit, I had multiple layers on but didn’t want to take any off as I knew things would get much colder once up on the hills. It did! As we pressed on through the snow a wind picked up, it was strong and as we moved along a section it was pressing hard on our right side. Cocooned in my layers with three hoods and a balaclava I had to turn my head to avoid the wind and could feel it pressing hard even shaking ym walking sticks as we pushed on. The night had set in as we made it to the first refuge hut ( Hut 1 ). It wasn’t great there to be honest and for the first time I got cold. James had a hydration meal which he cooked up, I wasn’t hungry for a big meal after the mince and tatties and also didn’t want to get my stove out and empty my bag. I sat and tried to sleep with a space blanket wrapped around me. The two Mountain rescue volunteers weren’t overly chatty and I’d hoped they’d maybe be able to make us a hot drink but it wasn’t to be, after all this is a self-sufficient race and nothing is guranteed with things like that. It was nine miles to the next refuge hut ( Hut 2 ) so I was relieved when James was ready to go as I really wanted to press on mainly to get warm again. I changed my gloves to heavy-duty winter ones that once warmed up were superb. I could feel my feet also becoming cold for the first time and my shin was becoming very painful on descents. James and I chatted about music again and James started to sing. He sang songs he liked growing up and some country and bluegrass stuff I think. We bounced songs off each other, songs from the 80’s, the Beatles and even some of my own songs which passed the time nicely and was fun. James was a Tracy Chapman fan, I knew a couple of her songs of course but didn’t know the one about the Screaming and the Ambulance. James kept singing the lines ‘ Last night I heard the screaming’ and ‘the ambulance came’ it was slightly unnerving for some reason. If I’m honest I wanted him to stop singing it. But he was in his zone and I wouldn’t want to break that so I tried to shut it out. The lyrics were dark and morbid and I was struggling a bit mentally. Help by the Beatles would have been more appropiate! We went off route a couple times and had to cut across some parts in thigh deep snow. We kept checking the GPS to keep us on track but you’d go a few minutes without looking and that’s when you can stray off course, its so easily done. especially in the tired state we were in. Onwards we pushed, I mentioned it was now two am in the morning and it only seemed like minutes ago it was six thirty and we were in Byrness. Step by step across the frozen and snowy night hills we continued. Hut two finally came and the two Volunteers were super up beat and friendly and offered us hot drinks. I wrapped myself in a space blanket again and felt better than hut one. I fell asleep leaning on my knees and remember the volunteers kindly lifting me up and laying me down on the bench I was sat on, laying a blanket over me and letting me sleep. I don’t know how long I slept for, I think maybe thirty minutes but I felt much better afterwards. My feet were really aching and my right shin was super painful now. I couldn’t walk properly on it, the constant pounding on frozen ground was really taking its toll and it felt like tendinitis for sure and was causing me to limp a fair bit. I managed to shut out the pain a smiuch as I could. As more hours passed the sky slowly started to lift to a deep blue with an orange slither appearing in the east. It was beautiful up there. I think it was seven miles from hut two to the finish and then we got to the amazing signpost to Kirk Yetolm that reads – Four and a half miles! The sun rose slowly and beautifully, making the hills look otherworldly in a snowy white, pink and orange light.

We passed the four and a half mile sign heading downwards to the close but not so close finish. With three miles to go my feet suddenly exploded! Severe stabbing freezing cold needle pain meant only one thing, blisters! I’d come so far with no damage but so close to the end my feet just gave up. I had to stop and James kindly tried to help. I had spare socks and James had some K tape to put over the blister. We moved on and then my other foot on my heel burst sending shooting pain in my foot and heel. It’s such a horrible and painful feeling and something that luckily doesn’t hardly ever happen to me on ultra runs but this time my feet were having none of it. Again James kindly helped. It was frustrating for this to happen so close to the end and I was moving super slow and in a lot of pain. Every other step was shooting pain up my left heel and my shin was aching heavily. Down we went and I could see the village of Kirk Yetholm in the near distance. The road came and I limped on, my phone rang and it was Nicky my wife and the kids, It was so nice to chat to them as I neared the finish, it took my mind off the pain I was in but during the call there was a few sudden swear words due to the pain of the blisters. There’s one last climb up before you descend into the villageof Kirt Yetholm, we got up the hill and together with cheers from both our family’s and the Spine crew of staff and lovely volunteers we slowly ran to cross the finish line and on Saturday the twenty first of January at nine forty four am, some one hundred and forty five hours, forty four minutes and forty five seconds  and two hundred and sixty eight miles since starting the race we simultaneously touched the wall of the Border inn hotel, the end of the Pennine Way, the official finish of the Montane Spine Race 2023.

Reflection

I haven’t really been able to celebrate finishing the race. What is a celebration of doing something like this? It takes time, that patience thing again. The beer I had once back in my hotel following the finish was amazing and in my super sleepy and bleary state it was so nice to chat to the French crew and my loving parents about the race. The hot chocolate and vegetable chilli straight after finishing and the kind staff at the Border hotel were also amazing. It was nice to speak to Phillip Hayday Brown afterwards who is the founder of the race and I was chuffed  that he granted me my medal upon finishing. This race truly is something unique. It’s so very hard but also so very rewarding in so many different ways. It takes all sorts for it to happen and you meet all sorts of interesting people out there. It takes guts and determination to keep going through so many aspects of pain, tiredness, emotion and strength. There are times when you think why am I doing this, when will it end? How does it end? Its fun, sort of and I love the adventure element andf the nature and elements you are amongst for so much time and the people you meet who help you in ways you don’t realise. My meeting with James was unique. It wasn’t planned; it just was what it was. Friendships though adventure. We spoke about so many things, personally and easily, funnily and in melody ( sort of ). When you are out there doing a race like this most inhabitation’s go out the window, you are laying bare a huge part of your soul in a way and connection means a lot. This race has a real true spirit and I’m honoured to be part of it all. Not once did I think about quitting and it proves that if you re-group and re try then you can achieve what seemed impossible.

Thanks

I’d like to say a huge thanks to parents and my family for their ongoing support in letting and helping me fulfil these crazy ideas and dreams of achievement in ultra endurance. I’d like to thank Salomon for supplying me with some great equipment and clothing for the race. We are making something special here I hope. Petzl for the head torch, it was superb. All of my friends and fans that sent lovely messages of support, the man with the pork pie and last but not least James Hargan who I spent so much of this journey alongside, chatting, singing, sharing nuts and sweets, telling stories to stay awake too and the silence.

I am Dave Pen

Some more photographs

February 4, 2023 | Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: adventure, Archive, BirdPen, Dave Pen, england trails, montane spine race, Nature, outdoors, petzl, race, running, running adventures, salomon, spine race, the pennine way, trails, ultra marathon | 2 Comments